The Year of Magical Thinking

The Year of Magical Thinking talks about the process of grief, loss, and how trauma can affect a healthy mind and soul by leaving it empty of joy, all by delving into the life of Joan Didion who learned to overcome these feelings after her husband died and her daughter fell ill.

Joan was married to John for over four decades. Their life was a beautiful journey shared by two writers who worked from home and experienced everything together. However, on one occasion just the night before Christmas eve, their daughter Quintana fell ill. What seemed like the common flu turned into pneumonia.

Just days later, Quintana was unconscious in a hospital bed, fighting for her life. What aggravated the situation was that she was newly married, awaiting a life of joy and abundance. Her parents were contemplating the situation on a casual night on the 30th of December.

Suddenly, John’s heart stopped working. Joan called the ambulance, and in what she calls an inexplicable chain of actions, John ended up dead on arrival at the hospital. She heard the heartbreaking news as she was filling out the hospitalization papers. She was in shock.

Her daughter was still ill but woke up three weeks later to the saddening news. The family had a tough time processing John’s death, but Quintana fell ill over and over again. Ultimately, she too died months later. Joan was completely overwhelmed.

Losing our dear ones is one of life’s toughest challenges, and even if we know that it’s going to happen, nothing can prepare us for what it truly feels like. For Joan, the loss of John and Quintana’s illnesses were two of the most tragic events to ever happen to her, and they occurred at the same time. The feelings of grief hit her at once, and it was nothing short of disastrous. First, she felt like she could reverse the death of John, so she would stop herself from throwing shoes or clothes away that he normally needed to run errands. Then, she blamed herself for taking a job at Life Magazine. She thought that if she had chosen something else, her life would’ve turned out different and John would still be there with her. Learning that he had a hereditary disease one year after his death helped her alleviate regret. However, the “vortex effect”, as Joan would call it, was still there. Her memories of John and the life they shared were growing stronger by the minute, and so everything she saw, from rose petals to wall paintings and names of places reminded her of him. It was a loss that caused her to live in grief and never get over this…