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Book summary
by Joe Polish
Premium summary · Opens in the app · 30 min read
There is a question that changes everything. It is not "What can I get from this person?" or "How can I close this deal?" or even "How can I make a good impression?" The question is simpler and far more powerful: "How are they suffering, and how can I help?"
**Author:** Joe Polish **Estimated Reading Time:** 35 minutes
**What You'll Learn:** - Why the most powerful question in any relationship is "How are they suffering, and how can I help?" - How to become the person others always want to hear from - Why genuine connection beats transactional networking every time - Practical ways to build relationships that create lasting success
**Who This Book Is For:** Anyone who wants to build deeper relationships, whether in business, friendships, or family life. If you have ever felt that networking feels hollow, that your connections lack depth, or that you struggle to truly understand what others need, this book offers a different path forward.
There is a question that changes everything. It is not "What can I get from this person?" or "How can I close this deal?" or even "How can I make a good impression?" The question is simpler and far more powerful: "How are they suffering, and how can I help?" Joe Polish has spent decades building one of the most remarkable networks in the world. He is often called "the most connected man on the planet," a title that sounds like hyperbole until you understand how he operates. He has built relationships with billionaires, bestselling authors, world-class entrepreneurs, and people from every walk of life. But his approach has nothing to do with collecting contacts or working rooms. It has everything to do with a fundamental shift in focus: from yourself to the other person. The problem with most advice about networking and relationships is that it starts from the wrong place. It teaches you how to present yourself, how to pitch, how to be memorable, how to get what you want. It treats other people as resources to be managed rather than human beings with struggles, hopes, and needs. This approach might produce short-term results, but it rarely creates anything lasting. People can sense when they are being treated as a means to an end. They can feel when someone is calculating rather than caring. Polish's insight is that the most effective way to build relationships is also the most humane. When you genuinely care about alleviating someone's suffering, everything changes. Conversations become deeper. Trust forms faster. Opportunities emerge naturally. People want to be around you because you make their lives better, not because you want something from them. This book exists because most of us were never taught how to do this. We were taught to look out for ourselves, to compete, to win. We learned to see relationships as transactions. We developed habits of self-promotion and self-protection that actually push people away. And then we wonder why our networks feel shallow, why our friendships fade, why…
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Get the complete summary in the appAsk "How are they suffering, and how can I help?" in every relationship.
Give freely without expecting anything in return.
Become someone others always want to answer the phone for.
Express genuine appreciation regularly and specifically.
Treat others as they want to be treated, not as you want to be treated.
Act with urgency when you see an opportunity to help.
"What's in It for Them?" is a strong fit if you want practical ideas around business, self help, personal development, especially themes like ask "how are they suffering, and how can i help?" in every relationship; give freely without expecting anything in return. The MinuteRead summary distills these concepts into a focused read, whether you're deciding whether to buy the book or applying its lessons at work.
Motivated to help readers with "How are they suffering, Joe Polish wrote “What's in It for Them?” to package those ideas for a fast, focused read. In “What's in It for Them?”, Joe Polish focuses on "How are they suffering. Through “What's in It for Them?”, Joe Polish distills the core ideas on business into lessons readers can absorb in a single short sitting. Readers turn to this work when they want Joe Polish's perspective on the subject without working through the entire original volume. Joe …
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