13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do teaches parents how to help their children develop the right thinking habits, instead of blocking their development, so they may go on to become “whole” adults and find their own way to academic and emotional fulfillment.

If you want a child that’s mentally strong, you need to start showing them what this looks like. One way you can do this is by not encouraging a victim mentality.

It’s natural for us to want to shield our children from things and defend them when they’ve been wronged. But it’s important to make sure you show them how to deal with life’s challenges instead of viewing themself as a victim of circumstance.

An example Morin shares is a 14-year-old patient named Cody who was on medication for his ADHD. His teachers said the medication helped him pay attention and be calmer, but his grades weren’t improving. His parents responded by demanding he be given less work than the other students.

But the problem wasn’t in his workload-it was actually the result of learned helplessness. His parents enforced the idea that his ADHD made him incapable, so he believed there was nothing he could do about it. When they recognized the problem and helped him feel like he was able to handle these responsibilities, he started trying and turned his grades around.

When parents are mentally strong, they don’t let kids shy away from assuming responsibility. Hold your child accountable instead of letting them blame others for their problems. In addition, let them practice resolving conflict on their own instead of always intervening, as this makes them more likely to blame others.

A lot of parents view their kids as an extension of themselves. Many secretly hope that if they push them to succeed in the things they didn’t, they can help mend old wounds. But pushing your kid to perfection is bad for their mental health. When you expect perfection, they start to believe your love is conditional and you won’t love them if they make a mistake. If you want to make sure mistakes don’t destroy their sense of self-worth, help them try for excellence rather than perfection. Make sure you don’t criticize too much. Morin says you can offer what she calls a praise-criticism-praise sandwich. This can be like, “Great job cleaning up the playroom! I noticed you missed a few blocks, but you did great at cleaning up your markers.” When we expect perfection we also tend to micromanage and overstep, which leads kids to not learn how to bounce back when they make a mistake. Helicopter parenting leads to kids not knowing how to make decisions in adulthood and struggling with…