30 Lessons for Loving

30 Lessons for Loving compiles the best relationship advice from hundreds of couples who have stayed together into old age and will thus teach you how to form a long-lasting, happy romantic relationship.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or have you ever had this spark of excitement when meeting someone because you think they might be “the one?”

I met my wife in August of 2011 and I’ll never forget the way I felt when we first spoke. She was and always will be stunningly beautiful, but what really impressed me was how much we had in common. We both now talk about this incredible feeling of peace we have always had about each other, even from day one.

This is one thing that couples in Pillemer’s study said that you must have to marry someone. It’s that “in-love” feeling that we’ve all felt before, but how can you know whether this one really is your one? According to one 65-year-old, it also requires having a vision that the relationship could never end.

Also, pay close attention when things might not feel completely right. This was the case for one woman who was married for 20 years before divorcing and remarrying. The problem with her first marriage, she said, was that something just didn’t feel right before the wedding.

If you’ve got nagging thoughts that something is wrong, confront them head-on. A good way to do this is to ask questions to find out what your potential partner values. Having the same core beliefs is vital to a successful relationship. It’s good to ask about a wide range of things, from finances to parenting.

Couples fight. My wife and I do it, and you probably do too. I used to wonder how to decrease it, but then I realized two important lessons: If you are disagreeing about something, then it means you’re not hiding your feelings but instead being honest about them, which is a good thing. You can communicate effectively regarding your differences in a way that doesn’t lead to arguments if you only talk when your stomach is full and you are well-rested. The thing about this is, your willpower decreases throughout the day, so it’s usually worst at night after the kids are in bed. Which is usually the only time you and your spouse will get to talk to each other. It’s obvious now why so many couples fight and yell! Couples in the author’s study confirm this truth as well. They say that picking the right time to share your feelings with each other is vital for success. Strong communication skills, in general, are a must if you want your relationship to…