Doesn't Hurt To Ask

Doesn’t Hurt To Ask teaches persuasion via asking the right questions, explaining that intentional questions are the key to sharing your ideas, connecting with your audience, and convincing people both in the office and at home.

Effective persuasion isn’t just about being good at debating with your opponent. It is about listening, communicating, and sharing your beliefs in a way that is compelling.

Questions are a great way to persuade others because they place the focus on the conversation with the other person and are good at avoiding defensive responses. The author himself only got into law after his friend’s mother asked him a series of good questions.

Gowdy wanted to get into construction, but one day his friend’s mom asked what he was going to do. Then, she asked a follow-up question. And another one. And more after that. By the time he was done talking to her, he decided he actually wanted to be a lawyer.

The funny thing is, his friend’s mom didn’t even want to persuade him. She let him persuade himself. That, Gowdy says, is the power of asking questions.

The author does clarify, however, that there is such a thing as a stupid question. For example, once during a robbery trial, Gowdy’s witness described a suspect with a blue bag in his hand. Immediately after, the author asked, “Okay, what color was the blue bag?” The laughter that followed that day can back up the notion that there is such a thing as a dumb question.

Still, the author believes that a stupid question is better than a stupid assertion. Typically, someone would trust a person who is uninformed before a person who is misinformed.

“Do you agree America is more respected worldwide now than under President Obama?” someone asked Gowdy. Gowdy asked for more explanation: What does “more respected” mean? How do you define “worldwide?” His friend had no answers. Far too often, people use vague or imprecise terms they can’t really define when it comes down to it. This is why asking an opponent to clarify can tear holes in their argument. However, they can also do the same to you. Questions you ask should be both simple and precise. First, avoid generalizing words like “everyone,” “never,” or “always.” These lead the way to rebuttals like, “Right, so you think I never pick up after myself?” Next, use repetition to drive your point home. The more you repeat something, the more your audience will begin to understand its importance. When questioning a man accused of murdering his wife, Gowdy asked the same question in different ways over and over. He asked, “What did she say after you stabbed her the first time?…