Flow

Flow explains why we seek happiness in externals and what’s wrong with it, where you can really find enjoyment in life, and how you can truly become happy by creating your own meaning of life.

This is a really cool differentiation. Pleasure is what most people nowadays confuse with happiness. It comes from sensory experiences, like eating a pizza, getting a massage, or having sex and takes away your control of your attention.

When you’re busy munching on a tasty slice of chicken supreme, you can’t really control what you pay attention too, because all of it is taken up by your sense of taste.

Enjoyment, on the other hand, comes from concentrating and consciously focusing, which gives you back your control over your attention.

This is where true happiness lies, as enjoyment allows you to work towards your most important goals and to go beyond the limitations of your genes.

Many people opt for pleasure instead of enjoyment, which the world makes easy, as we seem to live in instant gratification-land now, which is also why many people are so miserable.

But how can you find enjoyment? By trying to spend a lot of time in flow.

Flow is what’s behind every good video game. It is the state where you are so immersed in the activity you’re doing, that you’re completely forgetting about all your worries and anxieties, and you look up after hours, wondering where time went.

How can you trigger it?

2 things:

Pick an activity you find rewarding, something that’s meaningful to you, without any external incentive (like money or fame). Make sure the challenge of the activity matches your skill level.

The first part is straight forward. It means you should have fun. Plant a tree, draw a comic, write an article about the Minions, whatever you think is meaningful to you.

There can’t be any money involved. Don’t do it for fame, wealth, or even religion. Just because you think it’s awesome.

Part 2 is a bit harder. Flow is triggered when the challenge isn’t so hard you’ll get frustrated, while your skills aren’t so good already that you get bored.

It’s right in between.

If you decide to pick up chess, play on an easy setting against your computer first. Then, get a friend to play against you who’s slightly better than you. Once you consistently beat her, you can move to the next level.

Basically, flow is where your life feels like the perfect game: you just want to keep on going and going and going.

So make some time for your hobbies or take up a fun project – you never know what the skills might be good for.