How To Talk To Anyone

How To Talk To Anyone is a collection of actionable tips to help you master the art of human communication, leave great first impressions and make people feel comfortable around you in all walks of life.

The part we sweat the most when meeting new people is always the first ten seconds. Often, that’s the only part we’re sweating. If you’ve ever talked to a stranger, you know this is true. Once you’ve gotten over that initial hurdle, things usually go just fine. That’s why Leil suggests simply skipping that first, potentially awkward part. How? By getting an introduction!

If you’re at an event, ask the host to introduce you. You’ll both know them, which makes for an instant connection. Another option is to ask the host for a few details about the person, which you can use to strike up a conversation. Or just linger close by and observe their other conversations until you can drop in. Introverts could also bring a flashy conversation starter, like a dashing outfit or a gimmick, as well as smile, nod, and wave.

And if you’re trying to replicate this online, email introductions work well, if a mutual acquaintance makes them. I use them all the time. There, you can even use whatever information you find to show you’re prepared, which is called the briefcase technique. Oh, and if you’re the host, make sure you help your guests do the same!

The easiest way to get people to like you is to keep them talking about themselves. But while it’s nice that you don’t have to say all that much, eventually it’ll be your turn, or maybe you love to talk too. So what else can you do once the introduction is made? Two powerful tools, Lowndes says, are mimicry and companionship. Here’s what she means: First, people will subconsciously feel comfortable around you if your and their movements are the same. If they use their hands a lot, use yours too, and so on. Another thing I tend to do naturally is to use the same words to describe the same things. What’s more, if you know they like something, use vocabulary from that area, for example call them “mate” if they enjoy sailing. Second, showing people you’re on the same page goes a long way. I tend to interject affirmations like “yes” and “uh-huh,” but Leil suggests full sentences are better at achieving the same. If you can refer to you and your conversation partner as “we” and “us,” that’s also a win. Saying “how do you like our new cinema” puts you on the same team, an in-group, if you will. This will also lead to in-jokes quickly, which are…