How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you countless principles to become a likable person, handle your relationships well, win others over and help them change their behavior without being intrusive.

There’s that famous quote about how actions speak louder than words, because in the way we act we truly show whether we follow through on our intentions, instead of just stating them.

The easiest action you can take to make others instantly like you then, is to smile.

Just like we all tear up when a baby laughs or smiles at us, or feel a rush of endorphins from seeing a dog wag its tail in our presence, we can’t help but feel affection towards someone who smiles at us.

Now imagine a smile being the first thing you see the first time you meet someone and shake their hand – of course you’re going to like them!

More than half of our communication is based on body language, so a smile vs. a frown can make the difference between making a new friend or selling a car and striking out.

What’s more, smiling isn’t a one-way road, it helps you directly too.

By consciously smiling you’ll generate positive feelings “by accident”, just like positive feelings can cause you to smile without meaning to.

So the next time you meet someone new, turn that frown upside down and smile as you shake their hand!

What’s everyone’s favorite topic? The weather? Nope. Themselves!

We all love people who listen to us for hours end as we yatter on and on about our own lives.

People always think to be interesting you have to share many fascinating stories and constantly talk about your accomplishments.

That couldn’t be more wrong. You don’t even have to talk to be interesting.

Humans are naturally self-centered, we are our own biggest interest, and boy do we get excited if we meet someone who shares that interest!

Give other people your full attention, don’t interrupt them, be genuinely interested, ask follow-up questions, don’t rant about yourself and, most importantly, listen.

You’ll be amazed at how many people will say things like this about you: “That Nik guy was so great to talk to, what an interesting person!”

If you want to go one step further, you can do what Teddy Roosevelt did, and even prepare yourself before you meet someone by researching them online and trying to pick 2-3 of their favorite topics, which you can then address and get them to talk about.

Dale Carnegie has 3 steps to help you convince people, the premise of all of them being that they don’t know you’re trying to change their mind. We hardly defend anything…