The Chimp Paradox

The Chimp Paradox uses a simple analogy to help you take control of your emotions and act in your own, best interest, whether it’s in making decisions, communicating with others, or your health and happiness.

One of the easiest ways for us to learn is through analogy. That’s why, when Steve replaced two complex sounding names for parts of our brain with simpler images, he made a brilliant move as a teacher. He describes our prefrontal cortex as the human part of our brain and our limbic system as our inner chimp. The human acts rationally, based on facts, but the chimp only decides using emotions.

As you can imagine, this leads to problems whenever the two clash or the wrong one ends up in charge. Let’s say you got cut off in traffic and almost suffered a crash. You come home to your partner and share this disturbing event. Trying to calm you down, they tell you that, luckily, it all turned out fine.

If you’re still in monkey mode, you might take that as criticism and start an argument. Only if the human’s in charge can you see this fact clearly, calm down, and move on without harping on the situation.

Therefore, the most important thing is to start observing your own state of mind. When you start stressing out, ask yourself: “Who’s in charge here? Do I want to feel and act this way? Or is the chimp taking over?” Learning to observe this is the first, big step in mastering your inner monkey.

In the scenario above, your partner can’t know what mental state you’re in before making a comment. It’s hard to guess sometimes, so it’s normal that you will often be wrong about others too. As a result, there are four communication scenarios:

You’re using your human brain and so is your conversation partner. You are in human mode, but the person you’re talking to behaves like a chimp. You’re the chimp, while the other person’s human is in charge. Both of you behave like monkeys.

The first scenario is ideal, two and three are tough to figure out, but can be handled once you know what you’re dealing with. It’s the fourth scenario that’s to be avoided, because it most often ends in an ugly fight. Besides making an effort to recognize the modes of all participants, you should address problems immediately and directly.

Explaining your reasoning in an assertive, but respectful manner is the best way to avoid emotional responses and bring back others to the rational plane of thinking.