The Courage to Be Happy

The Courage to Be Happy offers a hands-on guide to living a meaningful life and letting go of negative thoughts by compiling the groundbreaking theories of psychologist Alfred Adler with other valuable research into an all-in-one book for becoming a happy and fulfilled person.

Imagine a person who has been struggling with drug addiction or alcoholism. You might say that they need to stand up for themselves and fight their demons on their own—but what if you were the one who was struggling with those same demons? Wouldn’t it be nice if someone else was there for you?

Adler wasn’t saying that we should be dependent on other people. He was saying that we should open ourselves up to love so that we can find strength in each other when we need it most.

In the growth and development of children, love is the central piece to a healthy upbringing. When they’re born, children feel like the center of everyone’s universe, as they get all the attention. In time, they have to learn to truth and grow self-reliant.

To do so, they must accept that they will be independent adults that still receive love and attention but in a different way. This transition happens through the love and warmth of family. It’s the same when we as adults go through negative experiences. Love is the key to overcoming difficult situations in life.

Do not praise someone for every good deed, including yourself. Praise can inhibit one’s growth, as it becomes a reward for good deeds. Moreover, when done in a group context, it creates a hierarchy of rewards. By declining to create hierarchies through praise, educators can remove rivalry from the classroom.

This is crucial in primary education where children are learning how to interact with others. However, it’s also highly important to address praise in adults. Praising someone who is not doing well can cause him or her to feel embarrassed and may make it difficult for them to try again in the future.

The same goes for well-performing people, who will develop a sense of superiority. Therefore, it’s particularly important to encourage competition, but not rivalry. To do so, make sure to avoid praising altogether, at school, at home, or work.

When someone does a bad deed to you or in general, it’s equally important to forgive and forget quickly, but not before explaining the consequences and the meaning of their action. Once again, communication is key.

Oftentimes, people are simply curious and they’re exploring with no meaning to cause harm. Instead of scolding, you could focus on helping them improve their abilities by providing constructive feedback while encouraging them when they need it most.