The Power Of Showing Up

The Power Of Showing Up inspires parents to help their kids develop strong bonds and emotional intelligence by identifying how to be fully present as well as the benefits of doing so.

I love rollerblading and have done it since I was a kid. Once, I took a turn too hard and scraped my entire knee up pretty bad. Luckily, I’ve since forgotten the pain of this and other injuries I had as a child.

Emotional trauma, on the other hand, isn’t so easy to wipe from our memories. When children are in threatening or harmful situations, it will stick with them into adulthood. Their development and health will decline, even throughout their lives.

A two-year-long research project involving 15,000 participants called Adverse Childhood Experiences confirmed this.

Those who’d experienced abuse, neglect, and other forms of dysfunction were worse at relating to others, had a harder time coping with problems, and also had more health issues. They even died earlier on average.

Sometimes, even the best of parents can still be a threat to their children’s safety. The key thing to watch out for is aggression. This can come in various forms, including physical, verbal, or implied, including body language and facial expressions.

Inevitably you’re going to lose your temper at some point though. To mitigate the effects of this on your kids, always apologize. Then, spend quality time with them as soon as you can afterward to heal the relationship.

If you have a best friend that you can talk to about anything, then you know how useful they can be for when times are tough. That’s because they understand you deeply and accept you regardless of what happens or what you think and feel. You need this kind of relationship with your kids if you want to show up for them. Too often, though, it’s difficult to keep your own aspirations out of their way. A father might, for example, rigorously train his son to become a college athlete. But the dad ignores each instance where the boy hints at his love of music. Or a mother might think of her daughter as lazy because she’s getting bad grades when in fact it’s only because she’s having a hard time fitting in. This isn’t just bad because the kids don’t get to realize their dreams. It’s also a problem because they can internalize these thoughts. The girl whose mother thinks she’s lazy might start believing that’s actually true. To combat this, develop a curiosity for who they really are and devote enough time to observing them to figure it out. Don’t let your own judgments get in the way either. Let your kids express themselves freely, too. Plan…