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by John Gottman
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The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work is a compilation of the best lessons from John Gottman’s research on how healthy relationships happen and will teach you exactly what you and your spouse need to do to have a happy, healthy, and successful marriage.
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work is a compilation of the best lessons from John Gottman’s research on how healthy relationships happen and will teach you exactly what you and your spouse need to do to have a happy, healthy, and successful marriage.
When you’re married, you get to know a lot of personal, sensitive information about your partner. Gottman says this information is stored in our brain’s love map. The more detailed the love map, the stronger your love.
Many marriages fail because couples simply don’t know each other well enough. They didn’t set enough space aside in their brain for their marriage. I mean, if you don’t really know someone, can you really love them?
It’s important to be aware of your love map and make sure you understand your partner well. Also keep in mind that a love map can change as changes happen in your lives, like when you become a parent.
It is also essential to a marriage that a couple has a fondness and admiration system. When a marriage is in trouble, the first way to assess if the relationship is salvageable is to see how they reflect on their past.
If the couple’s speak of their first date or other shared events with at least some positivity, this shows they still have respect and admiration for one another. A whopping 96 percent of couples who recall their marriage history finally will likely enjoy a happy future.
Another way you can assess your fondness and admiration system is by answering true or false to three statements:
When we’re apart, I think of my partner fondly. I can easily list three things I admire in my partner. My partner is happy to see me when I come into a room.
If you can answer true to these, you’re in good shape!
Some of the most important moments in a marriage are just the day to day conversations with your spouse. Partners make “bids” through conversation to receive their partner’s attention, support, or affection. For a healthy marriage, make sure you turn toward their bids. It’s also important to respect each other’s opinions. Gottman says it is particularly important for husbands to take their wives’ opinions into account. He says most stable, long term marriages have a husband who treats his wife with respect. A study across 130 married couples found that husbands who let their wives influence them were happier and less likely to get a divorce than those who didn’t. Additionally, there is an 81% chance of divorce if a husband doesn’t share power with his wife. Another important aspect of a healthy marriage is to understand there are solvable and unsolvable problems.…
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Get the complete summary in the appStart by developing your love map and setting up a fondness and admiration system.
Connect more deeply with each other through bids, being considerate, and understanding the true nature of problems.
Learn how to deal with difficulties and understand that you can be happy even if you don’t agree on some things.
"The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work" is a strong fit if you want practical ideas around communication skills, culture, happiness—especially themes like start by developing your love map and setting up a fondness and admiration system; connect more deeply with each other through bids, being considerate, and understanding the true nature of problems. The MinuteRead summary distills these concepts into a focused read, whether you're deciding whether to buy the book or applying its lessons at work.
Motivated to help readers with compilation of the best lessons from John Gottman’s research on how healthy relationships happen and will, John Gottman PhD wrote “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work” to package those ideas for a fast, focused read. In “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work”, John Gottman PhD focuses on compilation of the best lessons from John Gottman’s research on how healthy relationships happen and will. Through “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work”…
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