Tiny Humans, Big Emotions

“ When we see that children aren't giving us a hard time, but that they're having a hard time, we can respond with compassion, curiosity, and connection.

“ When we see that children aren't giving us a hard time, but that they're having a hard time, we can respond with compassion, curiosity, and connection. ” e.style.display='none');if(typeof getContentsSections==='function')setTimeout(getContentsSections,50)" /> The method starts with you. Collaborative Emotion Processing has five components in its CEP Wheel: mindfulness, self-awareness, self-care, uncovering implicit bias, and adult-child interactions. Only one of those five is about what you do with the child — the other four are inner work on yourself. Campbell and Stauble both spent years in therapy learning skills their parents never taught them: how to feel emotions, develop coping strategies, and stay regulated under pressure. Your childhood patterns are driving the bus. Psychologist Lynyetta Willis calls inherited helpful patterns " legacy blessings " and harmful ones " legacy burdens. " When your child screams and you feel rage or shutdown, that's often a legacy burden taking the wheel. The goal isn't perfection — it's noticing those patterns and gradually choosing a different response. TAKEAWAY 2

“ It's not the knowledge that 'hitting is not okay' that helps a child stop hitting. ” e.style.display='none');if(typeof getContentsSections==='function')setTimeout(getContentsSections,50)" /> The Triangle of Growth is a hierarchy: sensory regulation at the base, emotional regulation in the middle, communication and problem-solving at the top. When a child is flailing on the grocery store floor, their amygdala (survival brain) has seized control and their prefrontal cortex (thinking brain) is offline. No amount of reasoning — "We don't hit" or "Use your words" — will reach them. Ask one question: calm or teach? If the child is in distress — uncontrollable sobbing, flailing, vomiting from crying — provide co-regulation through squeezes, humming, or movement. Even if just dysregulated (defiant, silly, bouncing off walls), calming comes first. A boy named Jonah who was hitting and kicking needed races in the backyard before he could discuss respecting his sister's space. Teaching happens only after the nervous system feels safe. TAKEAWAY 3

“ …never, in the history of feelings, has dismissing them made them go away. ” e.style.display='none');if(typeof getContentsSections==='function')setTimeout(getContentsSections,50)" /> The Phases of Emotion Processing guide both adults and children through big feelings: 1. Allow the emotion to exist — resist distracting or dismissing 2. Name the perceived emotion ("You sound frustrated!") 3. Help them feel secure that this emotion is temporary — like clouds passing 4. Offer coping strategies (jumping, hugging, breathing) 5. Move on by problem-solving or letting it go Skipping phases backfires. When a girl named Amaya erupted over a broken cereal bar at snack, her teacher didn't lecture or problem-solve. She…