Quiet

Quiet shows the slow rise of the extrovert ideal for success throughout the 20th century, while making a case for the underappreciated power of introverts and showing up new ways for both forces to cooperate.

Huge lightbulb moment for me right there.

Do you love when Sally gives you the flimsy details of her latest trip to Cancun over a quick cup of coffee?

Or would you rather talk about Stoic philosophy for 2 hours?

The former speaks more to an extrovert, the latter more to an introvert, of course.

But why is that?

It’s because of the way we process information differently.

Introverts are what’s called “highly sensitive”, meaning they take in the information given to them, for example via stimuli from their environment, a lot more thoroughly than their extrovert peers.

For example, an introvert can stand in front of a single big picture in a museum for 10 minutes, continuously observing and looking for new details to be found – a horror fantasy for an extrovert.

In a similar manner, introverts don’t like small talk. They are engaged by profound conversations about life, values, morals and ethics, because it allows their highly sensitive information processing to thrive.

People often ask me how I can sit there and talk about a single business idea with my roommate for two hours – if you’re one of those people, there’s your answer.

Note: If you don’t already know it, check out the Myers-Briggs personality test to find out your own type. It’s free and very insightful. I’m an INFJ (and that’s going to make me successful).

Competence and confidence are two different things. Sadly, in Western cultures, we confuse them a lot. We often perceive whoever’s the most confident to be the most competent as well. That couldn’t be further from the truth, since just being a charming speaker and captivating figure does not make one a good leader. Being more sociable often leads people to think you’re also more interesting and willing to cooperate. But if you’re an introvert, sitting quietly in your corner, just listening and taking everything in, nobody will come and talk to you. More often than not, people will think you’re a weirdo. In our culture, extroversion is often seen as a prerequisite for success, which gives extroverts an unfair advantage. Even the best schools, like Harvard, try to groom their graduates into extroverts, by forcing them through group work, seminars, presentations and even going out with fellow students at night as part of their program. Go to Japan, however, and you’ll find none of this. Students study quietly, take vigorous notes and speaking without being asked is considered downright rude. Different countries, different cultures,…