Slow Sex

Anything you really get into relationship with will reveal its secrets to you.

Anything you really get into relationship with will reveal its secrets to you. Sex as art, not science. The book challenges the conventional, goal-oriented approach to sex, advocating for a shift from viewing sex as a science with guaranteed outcomes to embracing it as an art form. This involves letting go of rigid expectations and recipes, and instead, approaching sex with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to follow the experience where it wants to go. The author uses the analogy of cooking, contrasting the scientific approach of following a recipe with the artistic approach of getting into relationship with the food and allowing it to guide the process. The problem with "sex problems." The book argues that the very concept of "sex problems" is flawed. Instead of trying to fix what's "wrong," the focus should be on extending and increasing pleasurable experiences while accepting the messy, inconsistent nature of sex. This involves making a truce with disappointment, failure, and disconnection, and shifting from a goal orientation to an experience orientation. Slow Sex as a philosophy. Slow Sex, like the Slow Food movement, emphasizes sustainability, connection, and nourishment. It involves stripping sex down to its most basic state, learning to feel it deeply in the body, and communicating desires. This philosophy is primarily experienced through the practice of Orgasmic Meditation (OM), a simple, meditative practice where the man strokes the woman's genitals for fifteen minutes.

In Slow Sex, the main event is sensation. Stripping down expectations. The first ingredient of Slow Sex involves letting go of all the baggage and expectations we carry into the bedroom. This includes releasing the need for climax, the harder-and-faster mentality, reliance on vibrators, and the safety blanket of fantasy. By stripping away these extras, we create space for genuine sensation to emerge. Cultivating attention. The second ingredient involves cultivating the ability to pay attention to the sensations in our bodies. This requires overcoming the distractions of our fast-paced world and retraining our senses to notice subtle cues. The author emphasizes that attention is a skill that can be developed, and that it is essential for great sex. Expressing desire. The third ingredient involves learning to identify and ask for what we truly desire. This can be particularly challenging for women, who have often been conditioned to suppress their sexual desires. The book encourages readers to overcome their fears and communicate their needs openly and honestly with their partners.

OM is most often practiced between a man and a woman...He continues to stroke for fifteen minutes, during which time both partners place their attention on the point of connection between them. Asking for…