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by Vanessa Bohns
Premium summary · Opens in the app · 30 min read
There is a quiet assumption most of us carry through life. We believe that other people are not paying much attention to us. We assume our words land softly, our presence barely registers, and our requests are likely to be refused. We move through the world feeling somewhat invisible, convinced that if we want something from someone else, we will probably be turned down. This assumption shapes nearly every interaction we have, and it is almost entirely wrong.
**Author:** Vanessa Bohns
**Estimated Reading Time:** 45 minutes
**What You'll Learn:**
- Why you consistently underestimate how much people notice you - How the "liking gap" means people like you more than you realize - Why asking for what you want works far more often than you expect - How power distorts your perception of your own influence - Practical ways to see, feel, and use your influence more wisely
**Who This Book Is For:**
Anyone who has ever hesitated to speak up in a meeting, ask for a favor, share an idea, or advocate for themselves. If you have ever felt invisible, underestimated your own persuasiveness, or worried that people are judging you more harshly than they actually are, this book will change how you see yourself in relation to everyone around you.
There is a quiet assumption most of us carry through life. We believe that other people are not paying much attention to us. We assume our words land softly, our presence barely registers, and our requests are likely to be refused. We move through the world feeling somewhat invisible, convinced that if we want something from someone else, we will probably be turned down. This assumption shapes nearly every interaction we have, and it is almost entirely wrong. Vanessa Bohns, a social psychologist at Cornell University, has spent her career studying how people influence one another. What she has discovered through years of experiments is both surprising and deeply reassuring. The truth is that you have far more influence over other people than you realize. People notice you more than you think. They like you more than you think. They are more likely to say yes to you than you think. And they find it much harder to say no to you than you imagine. This is not a book about learning new persuasion techniques or becoming more charismatic. It is a book about recognizing the power you already possess. The influence is already there. You simply have not been seeing it clearly. The problem is that our minds are calibrated in a way that consistently underestimates our impact on others. When we look at other people, we try to be subtle about it. We glance and look away. We pretend not to stare. Because we are so good at hiding our attention, we rarely catch others looking at us. This creates what Bohns calls the "invisibility cloak illusion." We think nobody is watching because we never catch anyone in the act. But they are watching. They are just as good at hiding it as we are. The same miscalibration applies to how we think others perceive us. After a conversation, we replay our awkward moments.…
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Get the complete 30-minute summary of You Have More Influence Than You Think
Get the complete summary in the appYou are more noticeable than you think.
People like you more than you realize.
People are almost twice as likely to say yes to you as you expect.
Saying no is harder for others than you imagine.
Power blinds you to your own influence.
Your presence changes how others experience a situation.
"You Have More Influence Than You Think" is a strong fit if you want practical ideas around psychology, self help, business, especially themes like you are more noticeable than you think; people like you more than you realize. The MinuteRead summary distills these concepts into a focused read, whether you're deciding whether to buy the book or applying its lessons at work.
Motivated to help readers with you are a person, Vanessa Bohns wrote “You Have More Influence Than You Think” to package those ideas for a fast, focused read. In “You Have More Influence Than You Think”, Vanessa Bohns focuses on you are a person. Through “You Have More Influence Than You Think”, Vanessa Bohns distills the core ideas on psychology into lessons readers can absorb in a single short sitting. Readers turn to this work when they want Vanessa Bohns's perspective on the subject without …
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